Hi Lloyd. Been away, but now I'm back...(courtesy, Jack Nicholson, The Shining).
Today, whilst embarking on a fleeting Bank visit (some other bastard was holding it up) I noticed that the branch now had piped music in the background. So, to the strains of Sweet Love by Anita Baker, I deposited 50 quid with one of the cashiers, skilfully resisting the lure of asking if I could buy her a drink, or if she came here often. Now, I can remember a time when I quite liked the strains of Ms Baker. I was younger then and it was always handy weaponry, for a chap to show his more romantically sympathetic side. It was therefore more than a little incongruous to find Anita now gigging in the 'Evil Institute' when 'You've got to pick a pocket or two' by Fagin would surely have been a more appropriate musical selection.
All of this idle whimsy is merely my way of dealing with a world that has radically altered from my lost youth. Music was played in Bars or restaurants or the hairdressers, not in financial establishments. Nor was a Kenco coffee machine in evidence. I mean, what next...'That money is now in your account, sir. Oh and there's your tuna and sweetcorn panini and remember your semi-skimmed coconut latte on the way out...'
Speaking of things musical, I also recognize whilst slipping gently down life's runway, that my taste in tunes has changed somewhat. Since an earlier blog has revealed my alarming and unapologetic penchant for Radio4, an occasional saunter down Desert Island Discs avenue, reveals some startling musical selections from various assembled guests. On a recent outing, we endured, sorry, enjoyed, the verbal musings of Michael MacIntyre. Now I quite like the bloke, though in rather smaller doses than when he first appeared on screen. Sadly, like so many celebs who float your boat, MacIntyre has now become more omnipresent than God, or Simon Cowell as you may know him and I suspect we all like a little less of him. Anyhoo, his final disc selection was Ella Fitzgerald singing a live version of 'Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered', which was simply jaw-dropping. A voice meltier than melted Valrhona chocolate, accompanying a classic Rodgers and Hart composition...yes, I admit it, I lurve Ella. Now to get on with the rest of my life.
Meanwhile, back in La-La Land (some of) the natives have been restless. As extreme lassitude descended on some of Englandshire's finest fuckwits, it was decided en masse, to pillage (presumably the rape will follow) carefully selected town centres, aided by the marvels of Blackberry and Titter. There's something confusing to yours truly, about disaffected yoof (and some not so yoof) being able to afford a better phone than moi, but still feeling the need to play the proleteriat card. Goodness, whoever thought that the rise of the downtrodden would be sparked by the need to acquire a larger TV screen, so that they could watch themselves stealing said telly on Sky News, later that day. Come to think of it, that entire concept may be a little too cerebral for some of these wankers.
Listen people, there's no easy answer to dealing with these monstrous wastes of oxygen. Yes, we've ALL been screwed by the financial 'system' and in some senses our collective avarice is to blame. The rush to gain wealth, has resulted in corners being cut, in an attempt to get the prize, quicker. Rules are made to be broken, right? There is and always be, an underclass out there. It's the have and have nots syndrome and it just seems a helluva lot more pronounced now, simply because world finances are so far up the shitter, that an enema of Niagara proportions wouldn't flush out all the crap. Depressingly, it seems unlikely that we've seen the last of this mob siege mentality, but if our elected fuckwits would actually get their heads together and say some unpalatable things that those who elected them can believe in, we might get this train out of the station. Fuck Johnny Do-Gooder and the human rightists. Grab this problem by the collar, cut out the weasel words and restore some much needed sanity.
Y'know, I'm going to finish this rant and lead by example. There is a connection of thought in this little analogy. There are a never-ending stream of famines in Africa. As a whole, it is a continent, fraught with problems. It's pretty well ignored as an economic basketcase, so the only time it seems to be in sharp focus, is famine time. The call goes out, the cameras roll and the money pours in. Not once, have I ever heard any politician/anyone from aid agencies suggest that part of the solution would be to introduce the dark art of contraception en masse. It's understandable, many of these people have little to do other than procreate. They have no jobs, no societal structure as we understand it and a climate that does not lend itself to producing enough food and clean water to provide for so many hungry mouths. So why not discourage them from producing ever more children?? Remove misguided religious practices/beliefs out of the equation. No 'pope on a rope' principals of sinful childbirth interruption. Yes, wearing a condom may be akin to eating a Mars Bar with the wrapper on, but it could also become a badge of honour and put an immediate halt to unnecessary population expansion, whilst we tackle the other important underlying issues in that stricken continent. Tackle the problem at its' roots...
Ok, now that I've made myself as popular as the Chairman of the Monogamist Society, inviting Ryan Giggs to Guest Speak at the Annual Bash, i'll leave you with late news that a midget had items stolen from him during the peculiarly Englandshire riots. Just how low will these bastards stoop...Boom, fuckin, boom.
Say goodnight, Gracie...
No comments:
Post a Comment